One source of a bigger problem

It's "journalists" like Nancy Grace who contribute to the sensationalism orchestrated by the media. Devoted viewers take her opinions as fact. It's her focus on "victim's rights" that's helped turn the jury system into a joke.

George W's Presidential Library

Work has begun on the George W. Bush Presidential Library on the campus of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas. Possible books include How To Lose Friends And Alienate People: A Memoir, Goodnight Bush, a heavily notated copy of Leadership for Dummies, and his large collection of Archie Comics.

The Best of Limitations

There should be a limit to how long you can advertise that you were voted "best of..." something. As a conscientious consumer with a tendency for over analysis, if I see an ad promoting a business that was voted, let's say, "Best Car Wash, 2001" I think to myself: "Self, what has happened the last seven years? Did they start using hot dog water instead of fresh water?" Missing the cut for a year or two is understandable as I'm sure the car washing industry is cutthroat, but there comes a time when you need to move on and look at your business plan to get yourself back on the "Best of..." list. Besides, it's not like you won an Oscar for Best Brush or a Nobel Prize for Best Humanitarian Spray, honors that might only come along once in a lifetime.

Spam turning 30

From meager beginnings 30 years ago, we are blessed today with a daily stream of annoyances in the form of backwater home remedy cures for erectile dysfunction, surefire one penny stock tips, pyramid schemes, and et cetera.

And we have Gary Thuerk to thank, who on May 3, 1978 sent a sales email to 393 users on Arpanet (then a U.S. government computer network and the predecessor of today's Internet) that would lead to the antithesis of innovation -- SPAM!

If I had a birthday wish today, I would be connected and have a Hawaii-sized warehouse of SPAM (the chewy kind, if you have to ask) delivered to his home the old-fashioned way, USPS overnight. Add some BBQ sauce for flavor.

Creamed Corn, a Haiku

soupy canned sweetcorn
worse than runny scrambled eggs
the thought makes me ralph

J.Lo's Double Bundle

J.Lo has made a difficult decision after the delivery of twins early Friday. She's decided to give up one for adoption to Angelina, who can now check off "adopt Hispanic baby" from here "1,000 things to do before I buy a small country" list. Next up, save an Inuit village from global warming.

Is there...?

In this age of low-rise jeans and low-slung trousers, is there an official modern term for the outdated plumber's crack. This is not meant to offend our friendly neighborhood potable pipe maintenance technicians that might hold an affinity to the description, but it's now a more widespread epidemic. Needlessly viewable on trains, in bars, and at the grocery, to name only a few.

Well, no sooner do I ask the question, than I have an answer. Found in Wikipedia is "buttock cleavage." Plus, several more unforgettable terminologies (My favorite of which is coin slot. Plus you can find a definition for the more tolerable exhibition of underpants.) But, is this the definitive term? The Web's most popular free encyclopedia does include in its tag line "...that anyone can edit." And, a downside of Wikipedia is that there's no requirement that an author(s) be listed. The entry's sources hardly seem reputable.

If the term planet can be defined officially by IAU, thus ousting Pluto, it's time that an international authority is commisioned to give validity to terms such as the one most associated with the squatting trades person found in the yellow pages. I recommend that the defining society is headed by medical professionals and those with bilogical experitse.

File this under: unnecessary, questionable, random, somewhat crude, bathroom humor